Saturday, May 12, 2012

An update & a humbling experience

Today has been a substantially better day. Carter took a few wagon rides and required much less pain management. He fed his brother bottle and even helped burp him. He did a little video chatting with some of his friends and made a few friends (mostly a couple of special doctors & nurses). All in all a good day for a three year old and when asked how he is doing responds "not bad" despite the mound of surgical supplies strapped to his tummy and undoubted pain of massive abdominal surgery. The heart breaker came for me while reading him bed time stories. My little buddy gets in the hand on chin classic thinking man position. I asked, "what are you doing?" His answer "thinking about it" which is an obvious prelude to my best fatherly advice. My fatherly advice to my son is not particularly profound or insightful. In fact, it is quite simple "don't complain. Instead think about what is bothering you and we can talk about it." With my advice echoing in my head my obvious follow up "thinking about what, buddy?" He says with all the seriousness in the world "chocolate and strawberry milk". The heart break is.... He has had no food or drink since Monday and from my more informed vantage point I know he won't until Monday. He has not complained and it clearly has not occurred to this tough little guy that he should complain. How devastating?.... I want to get a run as fast as I can to the nearest market and get him both but instead I have to say "maybe tomorrow, buddy" knowing I can't make that happen. He just said "okay daddy. One more story please." I wanted him to cry or argue instead I cry because I can not reconcile his amazing outlook on the world despite the obvious hardship he has faced. The strength and resiliency of this little person are nothing short of astonishing. I struggle to follow my own advice with years of practice and experience and he has done it in a situation that few can relate to and fewer can understand. If you listen you will here people complain about their job, relationships, weight, or any number of things all of which they have the capacity to change; this little rock of a man won't complain about not getting a drink of milk for a week for reasons he is not capable of understanding. As a parent, I thought my job would be to pass all the knowledge I have acquired to my sons instead I more often feel the need to take notes............................... WAS


  1. What a beautiful post. You guys are in my thoughts and prayers. You have such a special little man there and what amazing advice. A lesson we can all take to heart.

  2. Wow definitely needed to read this tonight thx for putting things in perspective :) Our family is praying for yours and hope things continue to get better!!