Poo Poo.....

Those are the words that Came out of Carter's mouth first thing the other morning when he woke up. I literally walked into his room and he saw the bathroom and pointed to it and kept saying Poo Poo over and over until I took him in there and stripped him down and sat him on the toilet. I wasn't quite sure what to do. I am sure that he sees Lily and Tucker going all day long and in his mind he wants to go, but does not have any sensation that he has to or when he needs to. When Carter was born Dr. Boop told us after his inital surgery that the nerves did not form for bowel or bladder control. Up until this point it hasn't been much of an issue as everyone his age just goes in their diaper or pull up. Well I would be lying if I did not say the other day when he kept saying it I was crushed. I hear my friends and family going through the whole potty training thing right now and I am trying to be so excited for them, but makes me very sad. I know that in normal circumstances that we would be starting to potty train Carter at about this age. And I know that the older he gets the harder it is going to be.

I always think about that Carter really doesn't know any difference at this point, but what about when he gets the age that he does. Will he be upset that he can't pee or poop normally. Will he be made fun of at school for still having diapers on or for wetting his pants. These thougthts consume me sometimes and make me sad. Carter and I should be going and picking out big boy Toy Story/ Cars/ Mickey Underwear but instead we will be starting a bowel regimen soon and then will have another surgery to close the vesicostomy and start Cathing again. This makes me ill to think about another surgery. Dr. Jerkins said that he will be hospitalized no less than a week if everything goes perfect and he will come home with a Foley Cath and will have a NG Tube as well. We will probably do it sometime next summer if I had to guess. If you would like to read up on it here is more about it:
http://www.surgeryencyclopedia.com/A-Ce/Bladder-Augmentation.html

Just want to clarify that the point of this post is not to get pitty or sympathy, but I feel like sometimes I need an outlet to get things out and a way to document everything, and well this is my blog :) And to all my friends who are going through potty training right now, or just did or will soon, I am truly excited for you even if I don't act like it sometimes. It is just a hard reality to face sometimes.

And to my sweet angel, we will get trough this together and will figure something out to make life as easy as possible for you. I am so proud of you!!! We may just have to go pick out some big boy undies to put over your cloth diapers!!

Courtney